Parents ‘weak’ in disciplining kids and should not complain about strict schools – UK behaviour tsar
Today’s parents are becoming too “weak” when it comes to disciplining their children, and should not be quick to criticise schools for being overly strict.
That is the view of Tom Bennett, the Department for Education’s ambassador from the United Kingdom for attendance and behaviour, who points to what he describes as a widening “parenting gap”.
While more than five million formal complaints have been made by parents about schools, incidents involving student misconduct, including assaults on staff, continue to increase.
According to Bennett, schools are responding by taking a firmer approach to discipline, particularly as some children are not used to clear boundaries at home.
“Some parents have very weak boundaries with their children,” he said, adding that allowing children unlimited access to devices in the name of keeping them happy may not always serve them well.
In contrast, schools are expected to enforce structure. Students are required to be punctual, prepared, and respectful, including following instructions the first time they are given.
The shift has, in some cases, created tension between parents and schools, with both sides appearing to move in different directions.
Stricter approach, visible results
In Monmouthshire, headteacher Alun Ebenezer introduced a zero-tolerance approach at Caldicot School, a move that initially drew criticism from parents.
Measures included weekend detentions, stricter uniform enforcement, and additional academic support such as extra mathematics classes.
At one point, dozens of students were sent home in a single day due to uniform violations, earning him the nickname “headmaster from hell”.
However, the results that followed told a different story.
The school, which had previously struggled with behavioural issues and staff unrest, later recorded a significant improvement in exam performance, with GCSE scores rising by 14 points.
Beyond individual schools, concerns about student behaviour are becoming more widespread.
In one primary school in Greater Manchester, staff staged a walkout after reporting repeated incidents of physical assault by pupils. In another case, a child was found to have brought and discharged an imitation firearm on school grounds.
At the same time, school leaders are also facing challenges from parents.
A survey of 1,700 headteachers found that 90 per cent had experienced rude or disrespectful behaviour from parents within the past year, while a significant number reported verbal abuse, threats, and online targeting.
Bennett, who has visited around 1,600 schools, maintains that he has yet to encounter one he would describe as too strict. This includes Michaela Community School in north-west London, often labelled as one of the strictest schools in the country.
Its rules, which include silent corridors and strict enforcement of uniform and homework policies, reflect a broader push towards structured environments.
For Bennett, discipline is not simply about control, but preparation.
Parents, he suggests, need to work alongside schools, helping children understand boundaries and develop habits that will support them not only in school, but in life.
